The Basic Laws of Work that everyone should understand!

* A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.


* Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

* It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

* After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

* The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

* When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

* Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

* Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

* Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a office party.

* To err is human, to forgive is not our office policy.

* Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

* If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

* People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

* If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

* At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

* Following the rules will not get the job done, but getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

* The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.