Umbrella Thief

A man gave all of his seven umbrellas for repair at one time and told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work.

On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him, got up and started walking.

The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella thief."


The embarrassed guy returned the umbrella and apologized, before getting abused and beaten up by other woman loving passengers.

In the evening he picked up all his umbrellas repaired, put them under his arms and started walking towards home. Unfortunately the morning lady returning from work bumped into him.

The lady commented, "Seems, you had a profitable day at work today."

God - What a mess!!

When God gave out brains,

I thought He said trains,

And I said I'd take the next one.



When God gave out looks,

I thought He said books,

And I didn't want any.



When God gave out noses,

I thought He said roses,

And I ordered a big one.



When God gave out legs,

I thought He said kegs,

So I ordered two fat ones.



When God gave out ears,

I thought He said beers,

So I ordered two long ones.



When God gave out chins,

I thought He said gins,

So I said, "Give me a double."



God, am I a mess!!

10 reasons...

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because he knew men would never ask directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don't want to see what's on television, they want to see what else is on television.

8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctors appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated there would have to be someone to bear children, because men would never be able to handle it.

4. As "Keeper of the Garden" Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

3. The scripture account of creation indicates that Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone." He only ends up getting himself in trouble.

AND the #1 REASON WHY GOD CREATED EVE is ...

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1. When God had finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head and said, "I know I can do better than THIS!!"