Student Desperate To Pass . . .

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the
hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back
her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"

Season Pass

It was freshers day at a coeducation college. The prinicipal said "In our college we are very strict and follow discipline. The boys and girls hostel are separate. If we find any boy entering the girls hostel, a fine of Rs. 100 will be levied first time. If he is caught second time Rs. 200 will be charged. Third time Rs. 500 will charged"

Immediately a boy sitting in the last row raised his hand and asked " What is the rate for the season pass !"

Philosophy Class

A college student was in a philosophy class, where there was a class discussion about whether or not God exists, The professor had the following logic:

"Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class seen God?"

When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is no God."

The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak. The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:

"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence.

"Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?" Absolute silence.

"Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?"

When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!"

Who is clever?

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night and Didn't
Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and
said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return
the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way
back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked
him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as
this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in
separate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name.........................(2 MARKS)
Q.2. Which tyre burst ?...............(98 MARKS)

a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right.....!!!


?? ???? ????

What you wanted when your grew up?

The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room.

"A football player," said Jim.

"A doctor," said Alfred.

"An astronaut," said Suzy.

"The president," said little Al. (Everyone laughed).

"A fireman," said Fred.

"A teacher," said Lisa.

"A race car driver." said Mario.

Everyone that is, except Tommy.

The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet and still. So she said to him, "Tommy, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Possible." Tommy replied.

"Possible?" asked the teacher.

"Yes," Tommy said. "My mom is always telling me I'm impossible. So when I get to be big, I want to be possible."

How to draw an apple?

A boy and a girl in a PAP Kindergarden.

The teacher gave the children some homework to do at home, and that was to draw an apple each. (a nice one) The boy was trying to draw one but just can't get a nice apple. He was so angry with himself for not able to draw properly. So he thought of a way, he strip himself and rub all the water colour onto his buttock , and sat onto the drawing block and true enough a nice apple was printed on the paper.

Now the girl heard the way he did the apple, and she also did the same thing like the boy strip herself paint her buttock and sat on the paper, a nice apple appear.

The next day they passup their drawing for marking, and guess what , the boy get an A , while the girl get a C. The girl was very puzzle , why he get A and her self get C.

So she ask the teacher , teacher, teacher why he get A and I get C, we both did the apple the same way. The teacher say " Oh,... didn't you see, his has got a stem".........