Lifesavers

A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you could ever imagine.

"Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of the children was stumped.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your Daddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time."

Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his mouth and shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're assholes!"

Circumcised

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him go down to the principal's office, he was to phone his mother, and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and he returned to the classroom, where he sat down in his seat. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed.

"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

Student Desperate To Pass . . .

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the
hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back
her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"

A Teacher At Court

A school teacher was given a ticket for driving through a red light. When she appeared in traffic court, she asked the judge for immediate attention to her case as she was due to be back in class. The judge looked at her sternly and said:

"So you're a school teacher. I am about to realize a lifelong ambition. You sit down at that table over there and write 'I went
through a stop sign. 'FIVE HUNDRED TIMES!"

A New Teacher

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!'

After a few seconds, little Santa Singh stood up.

The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Santa?'

'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'