Heaven & Hell

In Heaven:

* The French cook the food.
* The Swiss run the hotels.
* The Germans fix the cars.
* The Italians are the lovers.
* The English are the police.

In Hell:

* The English cook the food.
* The French run the hotels.
* The Italians fix the cars.
* The Swiss are the lovers.
* The Germans are the police.

Heaven and Hell

John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident.
When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can't find him!"

St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn't make it to Heaven."

This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other.

John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I'm in the right place?"

"My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn't!"