AN ESSAY ON COW

The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child.He is same like God,sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.

"His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do? Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.

"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

"This is the cow."
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This is the essay on "The Cow" which was (supposedly) written by one Bihari Student in the course of completing the "Indian Civil Services Examination" :-)

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.*******

Answers...All r Real

The following are genuine excerpts from answers students gave on science exam papers...

The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.

The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the soul.

A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.

English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.

The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.

The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.

To prevent conception when having intercourse, the male wears a condominium.

To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.

Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.

A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.

We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

Tough Bihari Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam

Bihar Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam

Time Limit: 3 Weeks

1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu ?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)

5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners

9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton

10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar , the last one being Akbar the Sixth. Name the previous five.

11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no

13. What are coat hangers used for?

14. The "Jana Gana Mana " is the National Anthem for what country?

15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

17. Which part of India produces the most oranges?
(a) Gujarat
(b) Russia
(c) Canada
(d) Pakistan

18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have?

19. What does AIR (All India Radio) stand for?

20. The University of Chandigarh tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
(a) B.C.
(b) A.D.
(c) still waiting *You must answer at least three questions correctly to qualify*