the donkey

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.

The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN .

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas... The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY???

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.

Performance counts ...

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.
Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"
"Results," shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

Moral:
It's Performance, Not Position that Counts …

LIFE....

A small truth to make our Lifes 100%.......

If
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is equal to
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% only

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% only

L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54% only

L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47%
(don't most of us think this is most important???

Then what makes 100% Is it Money? ..... No!!!!!
Leadership? ...... NO!!!!

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our attitude. To go to the top, to that 100% what we really need to go further..... a bit more.........

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100%

Keep Smiling

Don't be afraid to admit when you know you are wrong.

It is not a sign of weakness,

but shows character and responsibility.

Others will respect you for that.



Always do the right things,

even when everyone does as they please with no consideration for the feelings of others.



Never compromise your values and beliefs,

even if it means risking ridicule and rejection.

Be true to yourself.

Live your own life and don't allow others to decide what is best for you

If you do, you will be unhappy because you're untrue to yourself.



Refuse to run away from the things that scare you.

Confront these situations and overcome your fears so that you may grow as a person.



Don't compare yourself to others.

You are unique special being and therefore you should express your individuality.



Happiness keeps u Sweet, Trials keeps u Strong,

Sorrow keeps u Human , Failure Keeps u Humble,

Success keeps u Glowing,

But only God Keeps u Going

Value

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note.

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?".

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this.".

He proceeded to crumple the note up.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?".

Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?". And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth
Rupee 500/-.

Many times in ur lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.You are special Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

"VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED BY YOU"

Money

CHINESE PROVERB ABOUT MONEY



WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY A HOUSE

BUT NOT A HOME



WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY A CLOCK

BUT NOT TIME



WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY A BED

BUT NOT SLEEP



WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY A BOOK, BUT

NOT KNOWLEDGE



WITH MONEY YOU CAN

GET A DOCTOR,

BUT NOT GOOD HEALTH

I will EAT all this.....

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street.

A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the Living Room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured the entire cow Droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful
Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s**t!", claimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady

MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and Committing To the client...!!!