Ghosts

A visiting professor at Texas A&M University was making a presentation on the supernatural to a few hundred people in an auditorium.

To get a sense of his audience, he asks, "How many people here actually believe in ghosts?" About 90 people raise their hands.

"Well, that's really interesting. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, how many of you think you've seen a ghost?" This time, about 40 people raise their hands.

"Fascinating. I'm really glad to see that you folks are taking this topic seriously Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" About 15 people raise their hands.

"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Only 3 people raise their hands. "Wow, that's fantastic."

"Let me ask just one more question. Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student near the back of the auditorium raises his hand. The professor is amazed. He takes off his glasses, steps back and says, "You know, son, in all the years I've been lecturing on this topic, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You really have to come up here and tell us all about your experience."

The kid grins and nods OK, and begins to walk forward. It's pretty obvious that he's a redneck as he makes his way to the podium. The professor motions him to the podium, and says, "OK. Tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."

The student looks surprised, and replies, "Ghost?!! Damn . . from back there, I thought you said 'goats!'"

The Perfect Gentleman

During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:

"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"

Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."

The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."

Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."

The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."

And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner. "

Circulation of The Blood

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."

"Yes, sir," the boys said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow at the back shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."