Blonde Waitress

"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.

"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down the street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he was thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course; all my training came back to me in a minute."

"What did you do?" asks the bartender.

"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"

One Cute Hotel

One priest went to a hotel and ordered a cake.the waiter came with the cake.the priest found a broken scratch in the cake.the priest called the waiter and enquired weather the cake was kept in reach of rats.the waiter quaranteed that the cake cannot be touched by any rat.the priest ate the cake and after that he asked waiter how can you quarantee that rat cant reach the cake.waiter replied "how the rat can.our cat always sleeps on this cake"

Customer....

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone

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Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter ?

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Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

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Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

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Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

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Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

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Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

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Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?