Because i am a women

Because I am a woman
I am different from a man. We may look like the same species, but there are different “rules” for each of us.


Because I am a woman,
I need to spend 20 minutes outlining my lips before I put on lipstick. Even though you say I have a big mouth, my lips are too thin.

My hair is too flat/curly/dark/light/wavy. Whatever my hair looks like, I want it to be the opposite. My eyes are too small, and my skin is too blotchy.

Thus, all of the time I spent in bathroom getting ready to go out is an essential part of my routine. I need all this make-up so that other woman will think I am naturally pretty.


Because I am a woman,
I will get up at 6:30 in the morning to go shopping if the store is having a sale. It doesn’t matter that I don’t need any new clothes, there are on SALE . Besides, I have 3 kinds of clothes in my closet.

There are “fat” clothes for my PMS (that’s pre menstrual Syndrome) days, “dressy” clothes for the dancing I keep asking you to take me, and “thin” clothes, that I will never get into in again without liposuction. I will, however, keep all the “thin” clothes, because tomorrow I am going on a diet. Therefore I need exercise clothes too. It takes a lot of shopping to fill up so much closet space.


Because I am a woman,
I need many shoes. Work shoes, dress shoes, three kind of athletic shoes, sandals, slippers, open toed shoes. I need high heeled shoes mid heeled shoes, low heeled shoes, flats, and boots. I need shoes in every color of the rainbow to match my extensive wardrobe (see above).


Because I am a woman,
I will get annoyed if you come to me and announce that there is no food in the house. In all likelihood there is plenty of food. I am not falling for the trick and making you a sandwich.

However, I will stand in front of my full closet and complain that I have nothing to wear. This is not the same thing.


Because I am a woman,
I will spend hours on the phone with my friends, even if I just saw my best friend today, I need to call and tell her who is on Oprah.

Especially if it is Danzel Washington .


Because I am a woman,
I will talk about you to my friends. We will discuss your underwear, your bathroom habits, and your childhood. However, if you even mention my middle name to your friends I will be angry.


Because I am a woman,
I need to talk about “the relationship” far more than you do. I will pick the worst possible time (when your favorite soccer team Arsenal is at most scoring their 1st goal against Manchester United) and say “Hon, we need to talk“. If you ask to wait until the game is over, you will find your self sleeping on the couch.


Because I am a woman,
I will have mood swings. PMS is a medical condition. So, when I scream at you and call you an SOB and then cry and want to cuddle within an hour, I am not crazy. I am a woman.


Because I am a woman,
I have strange eating habits. I will order only salads on our first date, and lobster after we married.

I will buy candy bars and washed them down with diet soda. I will put artificial sweetener in my double _mocha latte (only served at java coffee house). And any food eaten while cooking does not count as food.


Because I am a woman,
I expect to have “girl’s night out” once in a while. If you want to go bowling with the boys, I will pout and ask why you don’t want to be with me.

I will then assume that there is a problem with the “the relationship” and will want to talk about it before you leave.


Because I am a woman,
when you invite a guys over to watch football I will make hors d’oeuvres. If you want pizza bites. If you want dip, I will shape it into a football. Woman liked shaped food.


Because I am a woman,
it is ok for me to ogle a mans butt. Especially if it is Denzel Washington. But if you so much as you turn your eyeballs in the direction of a pretty woman, I will be furious. It is not the same thing.


Because I am a woman,
I will huge a woman I hate, tell an ugly woman she looks beautiful, and ask my fat friends if they have lost weight. Therefore, if you hug me I think you want hanky panky, if you tell me I look good, I think you are lying; and if you tell me I’m not fat I will cry.


Because I am a woman,
and this the new millennium, even if I make more money than you, I still expect you to buy dinner, open doors and marmalade jars for me.

But call me “honey” and I’ll tell you that you are a sexiest pig. Unless, off course, you are Denzel Washington.

The Baby Quiz

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

CBS 60 Minutes

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.

Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over
30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know. A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than
her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest.

They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one!

You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons.

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

Words women use . . .

Words Women Use

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.


BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF ! ! !

The Female Rules

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn’t abide by THE RULES, it is because he can’t take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.

17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

Satisfying an Woman

It's just 2 1/2 inches long and can satisfy any women?


Everytime...
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Fax Machine

Three women, one German, one Japanese and a Hillbilly were having a chat in the kitchen. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed her forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. “That was my pager”, she said. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her hand to her ear. When she finished, she explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”

The hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.

She stepped out of the kitchen and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging out of her butt crack.

The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The hillbilly woman finally said, “Well, will you look at that. I’m getting a fax!”

Women and Drinks

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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include White Zinfandel, see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years...Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots
Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk ... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Additional note: If she likes salt on the rim of her Margarita, she swallows.

Chemical Definition Of Girls

It is a very peculiar element,found (regretfully)in abundance on Earth.

Chemical Name: Girl.

Chemical Symbol: ‘Gi’.

Common Name:One may assign any name for his convenience.

Discovery:Though discovered many many yrs. ago by everyone ,but due to the immense complex nature of it no one can explain its nature or presense.

Researcher: Prateek Sachan.

Occurrence:Regretfully found everywhere.

Compounds found:Always becomes stable on finding someone with whom they can get their max. advantage often harming the person (Similar to a parasite).

Atomic No.: 420.

Atomic mass :420 (As there are no protons but only electrons,therefore we can conclude that they are not electrically neutral but always electrically negative).

E.C:2,8,18,32,64,128,128,40. As there are 40 valence electrons in the valence shell of a Gi,one Gi can fool 40 men at a time. This theory also proves that why God created more men than “Gi�s as otherwise it would have caused unwanted changes on the Earth making it impossible to have life on it.

Position In the Periodic table: There has to created a new block (called ‘g’ block)following the Lactinides on the right as it can possess diff. properties at diff. times.

Valency: -40 accepts electrons other than other Gi’s.

Existence : Only exits all by itself as ‘Gi1’(we can write as ‘Gi’ only) as it can not form ‘Gi2’ or ‘Gi3’ ….. as every ‘Gi’ is immensely jealous of all the other ‘Gi s’.

Physical Properties:
Natural State: In the form of Devils, Moneysuckers ‘Show-offers’ or ‘Time Wasters’.

Colour: All Types (Ranging from snowy- coloured to cherry-blossoms like the Willam Sisters.).

Boiling Point: Very Low. Can catch fire at a ‘very low temperature’ (‘very low temperature’ signifies the state of jealousy).

Melting Point :Very very high .Rarely melts to peoples’ pleas.Infact has defeated Tungstun in accordance with M.P.Now we can use willingfully use them in tubelights or bulbs.

Powers:Can be a great character hiders.May seem regretfully ‘x’ from outside; dangerously ‘y’ from inside and horribly ‘z’ from the heart. (‘x’, ‘y’, ‘z’ are diff.variables for their choices).
(i) They usually cry when they need something,and on this act they get their wish.

Odour: May put a lot of perfumes to hide the intoxicating smells,hence original smell can’t be determined.

Physiological Natrue; Highly Poisonous and dangerous in nature.

Taste : Being highly poisonous in nature,people who have tasted it have sorrowfully not remained for a mere second to tell about its taste.

Density : Varies.

Solubility : Insoluble in water but soluble in problems.

Liquefaction: Impossible to liquefy(i,e;impossible to control).

Chemical Properties:
Combustibility : Combustible,its promoter(increases the rate of jealousy among people),and a supporter of combustibility.

Nature:doesn’t show any change in a litmus paper.

**IMPORTANT: ‘Gi’ s also called an anhydride of problems. **

They are strong reducing agents as they reduce the money of other people on their benefit.
Word Equation: BoyMoney + Girl -----> GirlMoney +Boy
(It is a good example of an irreversible reaction).


Uses
(i) To spread some blastering news they are efficient agent,as to spread some news we can do the following:
(a) Publish it in some newspaper. Disadvantage :Wastage of money.
(b) Show it in the news. Disadvantage :Wastage of money.
(c) OR simply tell a ‘Gi’.She will definitely spread the news like wildfire and also totally free of cost.
(ii) They can come in handy when you are free and need to waste your time.


Precautions when handling a
(i) Handle with care.
(ii) Not giving them any chance to laugh or to show-off.
(iii) If unfortunately,a ‘Gi’ comes to you, DON’T PANIC ,but drive it away by making its fun or disagreeing with it.
(iv) DO NOT go or wander near groups of ‘Gi’ as this increases the over-all concentration of the ‘Gi’ atoms and may prove harmful for you.
(v) Be smart and take necessary precautions to be saved from their powers.
“Precaution is better than cure�
(vi) Never run after it.

A woman

A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems.

Finally he asked, 'Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?'

'Well, yes, I did once.'

'Well, how did he look?'

'Very angry.'

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, 'Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual; how did it occur that you saw his face that time?'

'He was looking through the window at us.'

Women's world

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

**********
WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

**********
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

**********
MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

**********
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposi ts a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers;
cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

**********
WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

**********
WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

**********
CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

**********
WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee ."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
**********
THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM . "
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

**********
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .

**********

Send Men Immediately

A Lady Rector of a Ladies hostel was fond of using English language though she was not good in English.

She was also fond of using very small sentenses to communicate. Always in hurry she used to creat lots if funny situations.


Once the electricity of her ladies hostel went off at midnight that too during the examination season. She immediately contacted electricity board's complaints office over phone and placed instant demand saying. " Lights gone in our ladies hostel. Send Men immediately. Girls using candles."

Advice for the ladies!

* If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section. - Buy a dog

* If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you. - Buy a dog

* If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it. - Buy a dog

* If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want. - Buy a dog

* If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies. - Buy a dog

* If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores. - Buy a dog

* If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually. - Buy a dog

But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...


Then..........

















Buy a cat!

Female Compassion

man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said "Have you ever had a hug?"

The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss?"

The man said "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third really beautiful woman came up to him and said "Have you ever been screwed?

The fellow said "No."

She said "You will be when the tide comes in."

Serene Knocking

A woman came storming at the Postal counter.

She gave a parcel Pick-up notice and complained, “This morning, your mailman came with our parcel for delivery. He left this note for us to pick up from Post office, but my husbandwas home all the time. Why could not he knock our doors and deliver parcel at home?”


The Post master was polite and apologetic.

He went inside brought the parcel and delivered it to the lady.

Then just casually he asked, “Ma’am what is inside this parcel that upsets you so much?”

Women oh Women

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get Ten times of that The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you.

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack!!"

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.


Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you, Stop here and continue feeling good.....


Male readers: Please scroll down

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to show that women never listen!!! that is why you read it even after our advise to stop!

Types Of Women

HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:

She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.

Road Hazard

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both women barely large enough to see over the dashboard.

As they cruised along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went right on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, the light was red, and again they went right through.

This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red, but was also concerned that she might be seeing things.

She was getting nervous, and decided to pay very close attention.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they went right through it.

She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!"

Mildred turned to her and said,
"Oh my goodness! Am I driving?"

Women -Read n Smile

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.

"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."bilekals

Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:44 pm

The Mind of Gal is like a Gal

How do Girls download Videos from Internet?

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