More Santa Banta

Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight, so he went to a doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?

Santa: I was running in a hall way.

Doctor: Then what happened?

Santa: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?

Santa: Yes it did.

Doctor: And what did these letter spell?

Santa: It said "Pull"

**********

Santa is talking to Banta about married life.

"You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."

Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."

A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.

"While I'm away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."

Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.

Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"

"I have some bad news for you," says Banta.

"The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They went into the house and I saw a light go on, so I ran over and looked in the window. Your wife was kissing the man. Then he took off his shirt and then.... they turned off the light."

"Then what happened?" says Santa.

"I don't know. It was too dark to see."

"Damn, you see what I mean? There's always that doubt."

********

One Sardar fed up with all Sardar scenarios and went to doctor. He asked doctor to put 1 Kg of brain in his head.
He asked about the cost. Doctor asked him whose brain it shoud be? It depends on that.

Doctor explaining about brain cost
"If Engineers Brain - Rs. 1000 per gram"
"If Doctors Brain - Rs. 1200 per gram"
"If Lawyers Brain - Rs. 2000 per gram"

Sardar questioned "What about a Sardar's ?"
Doctor answered "Its too costly, Rs. 100000 per Gram"

Sardar is happy about the cost of Sardar's brain and he think its precious, but asked doctor with anxiety
"Why? Doctor, Its so costly".
Doctor explained "Because to collect 1 gram brain, do you know how many Sardars are needed?"

*******

Santa and his wife, Jeeto, were living in a farm up in the hills. One day, Santa found that the hole under the outhouse is full. He tells Jeeto that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.

Jeeto says, "Why don't you go ask Banta down the road?"

So, Santa goes down to Banta's house and asks him, "My outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."

Banta tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the s**t all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole."

Santa thanks him, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse.

He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree.

All of a sudden, Jeeto comes running out of the house and into the outhouse! Off goes the first stick of dynamite... shooting the outhouse into the air.

BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite spreading s**t all over the farm.

WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.

Santa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Jeeto, are you all right?"

As she pulls herself up she says, "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen."