Blonde 1 Liner

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: How is a blonde and a pitcher different?
A: A blonde doesn't mind when you charge the mound.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: How does a blonde prepare for safe sex?
A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.

Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: "Cause their balls will show if they did"

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A: Divorced.

Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'... that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A wine cellar.

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her there is a vibrator in the corner

Q: What did one of the blonde's legs say to the other one?
A: Between you and me we could make a lot of money!

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"

Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.

Q: How do you know a blond likes you?
A: She screws you two nights in a row.

Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.

Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A: "All the blondes have gone home!"

Q: What's a brunette's mating call ?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?

Q: What is the brunette's mating call?
A: When is that blond bitch going to leave!?

Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do blondes and doorknobs have in common?
A: Everyone gets a turn

Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A: They have both been laid all over America.

Q: Why's the blonde's coffin shaped like a Y?
A: Cuz every time she hits her back, her legs spread!

Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

Q: Why do blondes wear woolen panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces herself/himself.
A2: Walks home.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Finland, turn around and come back home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a tv set.

Q: What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle?
A: Rebel without a clue.

Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE.