Children

A Good Laugh

A baby was just born. He was the perfect healthy baby boy except for one thing, he was laughing like crazy. All the doctors and nurses were examining the little thing, in front of the worried parents, but he kept on laughing, his tiny fists all closed and tears rolling from his eyes. One at a time, a pediatrician unfolded the tiny fingers to check if the hand was all right, and... guess what he found?
The birth control pill!


This could really happen

President Bill Clinton was visiting an elementary school today and when he visited a class in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "Tragedy."
So our illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, was playing in the street and a car came along and ran over him, that would be a tragedy." "No," says Clinton, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Clinton searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Clinton, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy. "Fantastic," exclaims Clinton, "that's right.
And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss."


Fun Facts

A child will not spill on a dirty floor. - A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
Familiarity breeds children. - For adult education, nothing beats children.
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
Having children will turn you into your parents. -- Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.
It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.
The best thing to spend on your children is time.
Those who say they 'sleep like a baby' haven't got one.
You can learn many things from children...like how much patience you thought you had.
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.


Who am I

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."


Career

A Father is asked by his friend: "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector." he replies To this his friend responds "Strange ambition to have for a career." "Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!".