Credit Card Applications

Editor's Note:- Just couldn't resist posting this "joke" which in many ways reflects the reality of today. I am sure, almost everybody here has been harassed by a bank wanting to thrust their card into your wallet even if you didn't want it and have had harrowing experiences. Please do feel free to post some of your terrible experiences in the comments. Thanks in advance.
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So you have received a credit card application? You know what it says, but do know what it really means?

What it says: “You have demonstrated financial responsibility…”
What it means: You’re breathing!

What it says: “Our membership is difficult to obtain…”
What it means: Death row prisoners are not eligible… in most states!

What it says: “We have shortened the application process…”
What it means: “We need lots of new members fast or we’ll go out of business!”

What it says: “You have no predetermined credit limit…”
What it means: “We’re not worried, we employ the Break Your Legs collection agency.”

What it says: “Exceptional Customer Service…”
What it means: Except when you need it!

What it says: “Trained customer representatives await your call…”
What it means: “This is the part you talk into, and this is where you listen. Any questions?”

What it says: “To apply for membership, fill out this short form…”
What it means: You’ll get the long form later.

What it says: “You may direct us not to share this information with anyone else…”
What it means: “Catch us, if you can!”

What it says: “We look forward to receiving your completed application…”
What it means: “We baited the hook, let’s see if anyone bites!”

What it says: “You’ve been pre-approved…”
What it means: “You’ve been pre-approved to be Rejected!” or “We’ve already prepared your letter of denial.”