Santa Banta

Santa asks: Who are you?

Wife: How dare you forget your wife?

Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai

----> Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,

Banta asks: Why are you removing a wheel from your auto?

Santa: Can't you read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

----> Santa: Doctor, ye phoolon ki mala kis ke liye?

Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.

----> Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke parh to sakoonga?

Doc: Haan, bilkul.

Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anparh aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

----> Santa: Raat film main ek churrail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...

Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?

Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

----> Santa joined NASA.

After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA

----> Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv You kehta hai aur gir jata hai.

Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?

Santa: I'm falling in love.

----> Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye

Banta: To phir ubalne ke kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

----> Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna enjoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets

Jeeto: Why 3?

Santa: For you and your parents

----> Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue you've broken.

Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

----> Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khare ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?

Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

----> A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein

Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

----> At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!

Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

----> In an interview,

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?

Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....

Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.

Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

----> Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night.

He got irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

----> Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage barrho Santa aage nahin barrha

Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin barrhay?

Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage barrho, mein 10 wain number pe tha

----> Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?

Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.

Banta: Waheguru ji kay shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

----> Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi kay saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya.

Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

----> Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?

Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?

Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.

----> Banta: You cheated me.

Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to you.

Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

----> Sadhu: Bachaa teri biwi ko churrail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.

Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harj hi kya hai ?

----> Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?

Santa: Tipu's skeleton.

Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?

Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child

----> Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.

Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!

----> Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.

Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?

Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

----> Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?

Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji larki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

----> Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.

Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

----> Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?

Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thori tabiyat kharab hai.

----> Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappar marne chahiye.

Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

----> Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Santa: Who are you?

Girl: Seeta here.

Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

----> Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.

The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga doon?

Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?