SANTA and BANTA mania continues

SANTA declares:

. . I will never marry in my life &. . .

.. I'll give same advice to my children also. .. . . .






SANTA talking on cell.

BANTA: kis se baat kar raho ho.

SANTA: biwi se.....

BANTA: itne... pyar se....?

SANTA: tumhari hai. . .

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A donkey kicked SANTA & ran away

SANTA ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it &

said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

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SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.


1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.

2.Weakness:Banta' s wife,Preeto.

3.Oppurtunity : When Banta is on tour.

4.Threat:When I am on tour


============ ========= ========= ========

SANTA: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.

Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml

now it's 1.5 ltr.

============ ========= ========= =====

On Jeeto's bday

SANTA had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank

manager.

============ ========= ========= ========

teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times

SANTA: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara

============ ========= ========= ======

Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi

gya.

Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

Santa went to mysore palace.

Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair

Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,

He wanted to save money so what did he do?

Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.

============================================

Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital

ki jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai........

SANTA: Kyun key pizza hut mein"Delivery Free" hai.

========================================

SANTA aapko bus me logo ne kyu mara?

SANTA: Are yaar mere photo bus me niche gir gaya aur mene kaha madam

jara sari upper kijiye photo lena hai.....

================================================

SANTA enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?

Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saabâ?o

SANTA : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

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One tourist from U.S.A. asked to SANTA: Any great man born in this

village?

SANTA: no sir, only small Babies!!!

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Teacher: A for?

SANTA: Apple

Teacher: Jor se bolo?

SANTA: Jay mata di.

=========================================================

American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."

SANTA says: " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

===============================================================

When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks SANTAji, how far is LAND?

SANTA: 2kms....

Man jumps into THE sea & asks: which way?

SANTA: DOWNWARDS.

========================================================

SANTA orders pizza.

Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?

SANTA: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Santa: Who r u?

Girl: Seeta here.

Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

=========================================================

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?

Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai

jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

===================================================

Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.

When a person asked what he was doing?

He replied, Oye! higher studies yaar.

===================================================

SANTA n BANTA were fighting after exam.

Sir: Y r u fighting?

SANTA: This fool left the answer sheet blank,

Sir: So what?

SANTA: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both

copied.

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SANTA: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.

BANTA: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent

my wife with him.