Common Jokes

1. Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

2. Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives.
1st: How urs looks like?
2nd: She is 5"8, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt urs?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!


4.Wife: Who's that women who is staring at us?
Hubby:Shhhh. i wud have a tough time explaning to her tomorow who u are ...


5.When does skin meet skin, Hair meet hair & Balls disappear.
think.....
u dirty mind....
it happens when u blink ur eyes.


6.What's the height of innocence?
A 12year old girl applies pimples cream on her breast!


7.Women asked man who is travelling with six children, all these kids are urs??
No, i work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.


8.Bride's dad hands a note to the groom: "GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE".
Groom gave another note back to him "CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN".


9.A girl phoned me the otherday and said "Come on over, there is nobody home".
I went over, Nobody was home.


10.Teacher: Why cows look depressed when they are milked?
Student: Madam, if some1 presses ur boobs for 2hrs & doesnt f**k u, then how do u feel??


11.Do u know the full form of " BANGALORE".
Boys Asking for Naked Girls At Low Rate Everyday.


12. she took off his pant gently & whispered" make me a woman.

he smiled & threw the pant at her and said, GO WASH IT!!!.


13.Son asks difference between confidence and confidential, Dad says, you are my son, im confident.
ur friend also my son, thats confidential!


14.1st sardar: Mumbai is the best city, ALL Free, Pickup, Drop, Food, Drink, Hotel even Sex.
2nd sardar:When did u go?
1st sardar:Not me, my wife went, she told me.


15.Wat do u call prostitute, wife & girl friend in mobile language... Prepaid, Postpaid & Demo card.


16.Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this right time we shud talk abt sex.
Daughter: Sure mom, tell me wat u want to know.
Mom:##??!!

17.Difference between Good & Bad Girls. Good Girls open a few button in hot atmosphere. But the Bad Girls open all buttons to make the atmosphere hot.


18.Friend to sardar: Why are u going for a birth control surgery for the ninth time?
Sardar: What to do yaar, my wife still keeps getting pregnant.


19.Husband and Wife are just like two tyres of a vehicle. Even if one pucntures, the vehicle cant move further. So intelligent men always carry a stepney with them!!